Zero Fucks

In elementary school, I cared so much so that writing my Valentine’s Day cards would send me into a tailspin of defeat and anguish, and conclude with a temper tantrum.

I cared so much that I quit gymnastics after just a few sessions.

My care was steeped so deeply in my soul, that I changed how I dressed, what I enjoyed, and who I was.

And it was easier to cry, or quit, or change all the things than admit how much I cared. Because I so desperately cared.

It was terrible. I was exhausted. I retreated from situations and declined event invitations. I was constantly giving a fuck about all the unimportant things that I didn’t have any fucks to give about what made me happy and excited in life.

In fact, I think that I gave so many fucks as a child…. That I used up my lifetime allotment of them in just a few short years. And now I have none left to give.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I didn’t give them ALL. But I did give a lot of them.

Which has led me to implementing my Zero Fucks Policy. It’s a very complicated policy that involves me only caring deeply about things that matter.

Because I realized that giving one of my limited supply fucks away to the person who cut me off in traffic was not useful. And giving another one out to the woman giving my outfit the side-eye is wasteful. And giving another one to the potential client who canceled our meeting is silly.

Giving so much care to things that don’t matter is draining. It dilutes our power and inevitably prevents us from showing up for what does matter.

In this week’s Bri-eathe I encouraged everyone to take an assessment of where they are giving their fucks in life. Are you giving them to things that don’t matter? Things that you can’t do anything about?



Are you giving them to things that light you up, brighten your shine, and make your heart sing? Things that can have a direct impact on your life, your community, and the world at large?

Because continuing to give them away freely and without regard is not benefiting you. It is, in fact, harming you.

For more insights on how to give less fucks, and be more discerning about where you are spending your energy…. Check out this week’s Bri-eathe HERE.